Lucy's One Year Portraits

For Lucy's birthday, we wanted to have some pictures taken of her. And since it was her first birthday, I wanted to do a little more than just go to JC Penney. I emailed a girl I went to Converse with who now does photography for a living and she drove up and met us at the NC Arboretum right before Lucy's birthday. Of course, right as we got there that day, the biggest thunderstorm we have seen in a while blew in and kept us indoors. THat's ok though, because pictures of Lucy anywhere are going to be cute. It took a while to get the pictures, but you can go HERE and see them now! It'll ask you to enter a password - just type in "lucyoneyear" and you can see them. . . let me know which one is your favorite! I can't decide!!

Picking up the camera

I can't believe it has been almost a month since I picked up the camera to take pictures of Lucy. I guess going back to work has kept me busier than I realized!! Anyway, here are just a few shots from a typical evening at home! I can't believe how big she's getting!

Sitting in the tub after a bathtime "makeover"

Aren't her little spikes cute?? :)

Playing with her keys she got from Jan and Maggie

Lucy made this face every time she pushed the engine button

And this is how we knew it was bed time . . .

Vote for Lucy!

I got an email today that said the photo I submitted of Lucy had been selected as a finalist for the Parents.com weekly photo contest. If Lucy's photo wins, she gets a check for $250! So, please go vote for her! You can vote once a day per computer through July 25th. We would appreciate it - and so would Lucy's college fund! :)
You can go HERE to vote!!

A Working Mom

While I was at home with Lucy for her first six months, I really never ever thought about work. I never missed it, I never thought about the kids at school, I never planned for what I was going to do when I went back, I never wondered what I was missing. I was happy being at home - I loved spending every day with Lucy, I loved knowing everything she did, every new thing she learned . . .every smile that crossed her face. I had plenty of work with things at church and I was amazed how busy life still seemed to be even without going to work from 7 - 4 or so.

And then came January when my leave was over and it was time to go back to work. I knew it would be difficult to leave Lucy, but Michael would be at home with her through February and the thought of leaving her at home with her Daddy made things so much easier. Back at work, it seemed to be easy to just fall back into making music every day. And I won't lie, being at HES is just easy in general! We started getting ready for a program, playing recorders and I found myself enjoying getting up for work, staying busy all day, and then once the kids were gone, excited to go home. We settled into a great routine and before I knew it, my spring break came along. Those three weeks at home were great and we had so much fun.

Back to school for that last nine weeks was more difficult. Lucy began staying with a babysitter during the day. Don't get me wrong - we love her babysitter and she seems to be so happy going there. She is all smiles when you pick her up and always waves goodbye and smiles to her Daddy when he drops her off in the morning. But somehow things are different for me. . . now I have the "Mommy Guilt." It doesn't always come out - there are some weeks where things are fine. But moments will arise where I wonder if working is what I am supposed to do. Am I being selfish by working at a job I love? Should I be at home with Lucy right now? After all, way down deep in my heart I know that I would love nothing more than to be a stay at home mom - at least 'til my kids are out of elementary school. And then there was the wonderful "Friend of a friend" who decided to comment on how if you really try, you can make it work so that "someone else isn't raising your kids for you."

And then today, I had to leave a pitiful, sick little girl at home with her Daddy while I went to work. I cried as I drove to school today, knowing that it was foolish for me to take a day off work (when I don't have any!) since it's Michael's day off and he will be home. But still, I wanted to be the one to hold her and take her to the doctor and do whatever was necessary to help her feel better. And all day at work, I thought about her and that "mommy guilt" kept creeping into my head. How do you know if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing? Was I making the right choice to be a working mom?

And then, these tiny little reminders started to come my way . . . the little boy who hugged me on his way into class and told me that he was glad it was Monday because that meant it was music day. . . . the 1st grader in the autistic class who walked up to me in the hall with outstretched arms for a hug which two years ago he would have hidden behind his teacher from me. . . .the 5th grader who brought me a clip to hold papers that she bought this weekend because she loves music and thought of me. . . the teachers who comment on the songs they already hear their kids singing when they come back to class. So while the "mommy guilt" probably won't go away, I know that I'm where I need to be for now. I love what I do, I'm good at what I do, and if I can bring some joy to these students' lives for 30-45 minutes, then it's worth it. While many of my students have as happy a home life as my little girl, there are many more that do not. Some have parents that are going through a divorce, some don't have food to eat when they go home, some have parents who have lost their jobs and are having a difficult time, some are having to take care of their baby brothers and sisters while parents are busy, and then there are some who have issues that none of us know yet. Many of these children have to be so grownup when they leave school - they have difficult lives and have faced more challenges than most of us have. ( or at least more than I have!) School can be hard too - but music class shouldn't be. Music class should be about being creative and finding joy in what you're doing. And I am going to be there, allowing them the opportunity, even if only twice a week for 30 minutes to find an escape from the things that might be difficult for them. This is where I should be. And that doesn't make me less of a mother to my child. . . I hope that someday she has a teacher who makes a difference in her life as many made a difference in mine. And I hope that someday I might have the chance to make a difference for one of my students as well.

Making Music

Lucy has recently discovered that the Clavinova keyboard can make all kinds of sounds! She has spent a great deal of time trying different sounds and listening to the demos that it plays. When she is not making her own music, she dances to the demo tracks. I am amazed at how much she likes playing - it can hold her attention for 15 solid minutes and she gets upset if you try to take her away before she is ready! The video above is one of her many "performances." Hope you enjoy my baby Mozart! :)

Walking!

I can't believe it, but yes, my baby girl took her first steps yesterday! She stayed home from the babysitter's because she had been running a fever that morning and so Michael brought her to stay with me at school in the afternoon. (We had workdays this week as today is our first day back to school - gotta love the year round schedule!) She wanted to play with the drum so I told her to go and get it and she took two or three steps toward it on her own! I was so proud of her but then she wouldn't do it again so I thought that maybe it was just an accident. When Michael came back later to get her, I told her to walk to Daddy and she took about six or seven steps straight into his arms! It was so sweet!! We tried to capture it on video last night, but everytime she saw the camera out, she would drop down and crawl towards it . (Crawling is so much faster!) Hopefully in the next day or so, we'll have something to post so that you can see her! I guess she really is a toddler now - where did my little baby go?

Going Swimming . . . sort of

I guess you can call sitting in a plastic container of water "going swimming" but whatever you want to call it, Lucy can't get enough! (Neither can Baxter, but for different reasons as you'll see!) When we were at Target today, we used some of Lucy's birthday money from her Aunt Nae to buy her a little swimming pool. After naptime, we went outside to swim in our pool. At first, Lucy just sat there, staring at the water . . .I guess she was wondering why we were going to take a bath outside! :) Then Baxter came over to drink out of the pool which he LOVED!


After Baxter let us know it was ok, Lucy seemed to have a good time splashing and playing with her toys like she does in the bathtub. She didn't try to move around in the pool but she seemed to enjoy it just as much as the bath! I think her favorite part was watching Baxter run around the yard and then come back and get something to drink!

Big girl in the pool

Splashing and playing

My second favorite picture of the day!
(My first is now at the top of the blog)

We only "swam" for about 15 minutes but already Lucy is pointing at the door and asking to go back out. I took her out and put her in the swing, but that isn't what she wants. I told her she would have to wait until she could show her Daddy tomorrow!

Book, Baby, Bear and Ba Ba

If Sesame Street were to come to our house, the letter of the day would be "B"! Lucy apparently likes B words because she says them all the time. She goes from bear to bear in her toys, shows them to you and says "Bear." Same with "Book" and "Baby". Whenever she sees Baxter, she shouts out "Ba ba!" And of course, we can't leave out our first word - "Bye!" :)

Lucy loving on one of her bears

Looking up from reading a book

Giving her baby a kiss